Wednesday, July 24, 2013

I am a watched pot

Well this is it!  After a long nine months we are officially in the home stretch of Baby Tyson's arrival!  I say it has been a long nine months, but I can't decide if that is actually true.  I remember the day we found out I was was night actually.  We had just gotten in from doing Christmas with our families in Mississippi...we had to celebrate early since I was on call for the actual holiday.  I knew something was up before we left, but I refused to take a pregnancy test right then.  I had just found out I had been accepted into grad school two days before...I wasn't sure if I could handle all the newness at once.  As soon as we walked in the door at home I tested.  And I tested, and I tested, and I tested.  I have never felt so many emotions at once, and I will never forget the look on Josh's face...excited doesn't even begin to cover it!

As excited and grateful as I was that first week especially, I was still so so scared.  Man, was I bending God's ear that week!  I think I prayed relentlessly every day on my way to work, crying most days.  They weren't tears of unhappiness by any means, but I was just so afraid of how and why it was all working out the way it did.  It scared me to think of being in school full time, working full time, and raising a baby.  Eventually God calmed me down though.  Of course I always trusted that He will never give us more than we can handle, but sometimes it's still scary.  Now we are beyond excited and cannot wait for this baby boy to get here.

Thinking back to Christmas morning when we told our parents and families about our new little bundle seems like light years ago.  I called my family and told them all about one more Christmas present that wouldn't be ready for another eight months or so.  Josh's mom came to us and his dad lives in town, so we were able to give his family gifts to tell them in person.  It was all so fun and made everything seem so much more real!

Other than thinking about how long ago it has been since we spread our news, this pregnancy seems to have flown past us.  I think a big part of that is because we were so busy over the past six months with school.  We couldn't really allow ourselves to focus on the nursery or anything until summer because we had so much going on with our school work.  We did little projects here and there when we had spare time, but for the most part we weren't really able to get busy getting everything ready for Ty's arrival until May.

That's how we have spent our summer...getting everything ready for baby!  It took us until about a week or so ago to finish it all, but finally it is all done!  The nursery looks fabulous!  Kay Kay has been a big part of this because she has made curtains, pillows, bedding for a bassinet, a door hanger, anything we needed that we couldn't find in the store!  Too bad I didn't get more of her craftiness!!

Josh has not only spent the summer helping me get everything ready for Tyson, but he has also been working full time and taking beyond a full load of online summer classes.  He has gotten tons accomplished in the last two months.  I am proud to say that he officially finished summer school last night by taking his last exam and turning in the last couple speeches he still had out!  It has been a tough road, but we made it through!!

Now, on to this pregnancy...I have been beyond lucky.  No morning sickness really to speak of.  The first week I was a little queasy, but it was completely manageable.  My biggest complaint has probably been the pregnancy-related carpal tunnel syndrome, and if that is all I have to complain about then I really can't complain!  It wasn't until about last week that I really started to feel "pregnant".  Exhausted is not the word for it.  Whatever the state is past exhaustion might cover it.  Some days are better than others.  Some days, though, I wake up in the morning almost too tired to function.  Backaches have become an every day thing.  I have these big plans every day to come home and clean the house, or change all the sheets, or do something really productive...usually though it never quite happens.  It's ok though..being tired is part of being pregnant!  Luckily we made it to week 37 before it really got too bad, and still it is nothing that we can't work through.  We just rest and nap when we have to and know that the housework will wait.

Baby classes have been the highlight of these past few weeks.  Josh and I have gone together to every one.  I really am lucky, and Tyson is lucky to have such a great Daddy...Josh hasn't missed a doctor's appointment or baby class or anything baby related.  He is going to be such an amazing dad!  I do think Josh enjoys the baby classes.  Every time I glance his way I see his hand up.  There is always something that he "just has to know".  I tried to talk him into asking me first before he asks them out loud, but really it is fun to see him get so excited.  And he's right, most of the stuff he is asking other people want to know too!

We made our last trip as a family of two to the hunting camp this past weekend.  It was nice to get away and unwind, but I was kind of worried about having a baby in Mississippi.  Josh, on the other hand, was kind of hoping for it I think...he had his eyes on a lifetime hunting license for Ty before he was even out of the womb good!  Men!  Thankfully we made it back home without any scares!

We had our second weekly check up today with the doctor.  It went really well!  Dilated one centimeter, 70% effaced!  He thinks we will have a pretty big baby...probably high #7, low #8 so far!  Ahh!  He says we can talk about an induction at 39 weeks!  Exciting to think that that is only a week and a half away!  We don't mind letting Tyson cook for a little longer so that he is good and strong when he does make his grand appearance, but we don't want him to go past his due date because we will need a little time to acclimate before school starts back up.  So we will just play it by ear and see where we are and how this little boy is faring in a couple weeks.  No need to evict him just yet if he's not quite ready to come out!

As excited as I am to see our sweet baby boy and also to hopefully get my energy back (because it will come back as soon as he comes out?!), there is so much I will miss about pregnancy.  It has been fun just dreaming about him and thinking about who he will look like and what he will become.  I love feeling his kicks and bumps.  He just stopped hiccuping a few minutes ago, and as I type this, Josh is loving feeling him moving all around in there.  I have thought of myself as two people for so long now, it will be weird to go back to being a single entity.  It will also be sad when I have to stop blaming the baby on my need for ice cream and my mid-night snacks!

It's funny how many emotions and mind-sets you can go through in a period of nine months.  About a month ago I was completely freaked out by the prospect of the baby.  It was just all of the sudden one day I was hysterical..I honestly didn't know if I could do it.  I wanted him so badly, but at the same time I was afraid of all the changes he would bring and I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to adapt.  I know that it was God who stepped in once again and became that calm that I needed.  Hopefully that's a normal emotion that every soon to be mother has to face.  Now, I am calm, ready, excited for this bundle of joy to be here!  I cannot wait to see him, and I am even looking forward to the late nights we will be spending together feeding, rocking, and bonding.  I cannot wait to watch Josh interact with Ty and watch as their bond forms and grows.  I still worry about every little thing, and for some reason I think that it will get better once he is here and I know that he is healthy and safe.  In the back of my mind though I know that this is just the beginning of motherhood...that worry is going to be something that never goes away because no matter what I will always want to know if he is safe and ok.

But for now I just feel like that watched pot.  You know, that one that never boils...

It's ok though, Ty.  Take your time getting here ( just don't take more than a couple more weeks or so)!!  We can't wait to meet you!!