Sunday, May 11, 2014


For the first time in three semesters, I had a semester filled with doubt. This semester was, by far, the hardest thing I have ever done. There were many, many days when I wanted to throw in the towel and just give up. I knew my family deserved more though because we have all worked so hard for this, and I knew I desperately wanted so much more. So I stuck with it, put in the hours, gave up sleep, gained numerous ulcers, and did what I had to do to make it through. Even through the determination there were days where I didn't know how I would make it no matter how hard I tried.
Grad school is no joke. Grad school with a husband in school full time is hard, grad school with a 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 month old at home is hard, grad school while working a full time job is hard, grad school while covering extra call all semester is hard. Survival is sweet though. Something happens when you survive something like that. You forget how hard the past five months have been, the tears and stress become harder to remember as the relief of getting through the obstacles takes over. The promise of all the new experiences and learning opportunities clinicals will bring next semester bring feelings of excitement when looking forward to next semester...not dread of losing summer.

That being said and as excited for clinicals as I may be, I am in no hurry to rush this summer that I have to spend relatively study-free with my boys! We have big plans to play in the pool as much as possible, make a beach trip for Josh's birthday, and watch Mississippi-style fireworks!!
Summer isn't the only exciting thing happening over here...the light at the end of Josh's school tunnel is so bright we can almost see the train!! He has a new job that he is loving so far, and after he takes a couple online classes this summer, he will have ONE semester standing between him and graduation. I honestly could not be prouder of him. A self-professed "not the school type" has gone back as adult, by his own free will, and excelled at every aspect of his curriculum. It hasn't been easy, and I know he's had days where he would rather just quit and take the easy road of going back to his trade...but he's stuck with it through the hard days for himself and his family.

Absolutely none of this would have been possible without God's perfect timing and ultimate guidance. We have thrown ourselves into our faith and trusted in His will and plan for us. We hold onto that faith as we look towards our future and where He will lead us. Walk by faith, not by sight...even through the bad days and tough situations, He had a greater plan.

On my first ever Mother's Day, I can't help but to look at all my gifts and rejoice. In an attempt not to be too sick to your stomach mushy,  my husband really is amazing and a blessing that I honestly do not deserve. I may make sure he's fed and up on time and has clean clothes, but he does so much more for me than I could ever reciprocate. He keeps me grounded; keeps me sane; he helps me hold it together when I'm falling apart at the seams; and when those seams bust open, he's there to help me pick up the pieces. He may know how to push every button I have and drive me completely up the wall some days, but he is also exactly what I need every day and for that I am eternally grateful. And then I look at my perfect little (almost) 9 month old little boy who is so beautiful, smart, and loving. In these short 9 months, he has taught what true love is all about and motivates me everyday to be a better person, a better wife, and a better mom. I sit at the crossroads of holding onto this exact moment in time and looking to the future with excited anticipation of what he will be like as he grows up.

My cup runneth over. Tonight is one of reflection, and I have been blessed.