Christmas. The holiday I look forward to all year long. Christmas. The most exciting holiday now that I am married. My first married Christmas. The day I have looked forward to since Josh and I got married. I have envisioned Christmas morning with my husband for months. I envisioned the new traditions we would set as a family. It was all absolutely perfect. Then life cut in.
Work. Yep, you guessed it. My first married Christmas and I had to work. Ahh the joys of being a nurse. Remind me again why I didn't become a teacher?
Granted I have known since about last January that I would have to work this Christmas; however, I chose to not focus on it and therefore -in my mind- I wasn't going to actually have to work that day. Yet accepting it or not I did have to work. And you would think that I would handle that news like an adult, right? I mean, sure it's our first Christmas married but it's not like we have kids or anything like that...it's just another day, right? Yeah, I didn't quite think of it that way. In my defense I did try. I tried to be happy to work, grateful for my job, all that jazz...still didn't work.
I think I cried for a solid week before Christmas actually got here. I almost refused to put up a Christmas tree (although I did of course end up putting one up). I all but ripped the radio out of the car every time I heard a Christmas song play. My way of coping with have to work on Christmas was to not acknowledge that Christmas was actually here in any shape, form, or fashion. I was in denial. To make matters worse I didn't only have to work Christmas day. I had to work Christmas eve, Christmas day, and the day after Christmas! It sounded like torture.
Josh and I made the decision last year that from now on (working or not working) we would be spending all of our Christmases in Thibodaux. The traveling to and from between the families on Christmas had gotten so overwhelming that none of us could even enjoy Christmas the way we were suppose to. So I already knew this year would be different, I just didn't know how different.
My family was very supportive of course. Everyone went out of the their way so that we could all have Christmas early. So the weekend before Christmas Josh and I loaded up and headed north for a weekend of Christmas festivities.
Our first stop was my mom's. Christmas with the lizard on Friday night...Jef and Eighmey were even able to come too. It was absolutely wonderful. My mom had everything set up perfectly for us all. We came in that night and supper was waiting on us...and did she ever have a delicious spread complete with our favorite chocolate cake! After supper we all opened presents. It was nice..very laid back. We had all the time in the world so we were able to each open one present at a time and marvel over what each person got. Josh thought it was hilarious to swap around a few of the tags, so some of the presents were mysteries until we opened them but that just added to the memory. After presents we all sat in the living room and decorated our stockings for Mimi's house. We had a grand time just crafting and being together. We stayed up way too late and woke up entirely too early the next morning, but it was all worth it! After a lazy morning of breakfast and a quick shopping trip we all had to load up and head down the road to Kay Kay's.
Saturday afternoon marked Christmas with my dad and family. Josh and I braved the mall on the way towards that side of town. I thought we would be trapped there forever with all the people milling around, but Josh said it was a good way to put us in the Christmas spirit. I guess he was right...it was fun! We all got to Kay Kay's around the same time, and it didn't take long before the present exchanging began. Again we were able to take it slow and all open gifts one by one! After presents came supper, and then we were all able to just sit around the table and talk and catch up for a while. Another really great night was had by us all!
Josh and I decided (at my almost pleading request) to wait to do our Christmas until Christmas night after work. Josh decided to go to his mom's on Christmas eve and spend Christmas morning over there. Even though I really didn't want to spend Christmas eve alone, I was more than happy that he was going. I don't think I could have bared being at work on Christmas if I knew he were home all day all alone. It was really comforting to know that he would be happy and surrounded by family...didn't stop me from crying all week, but it was still comforting.
So the dreaded Christmas eve came. I laid in the bed crying that morning before work...I was completely dressed ready to go but I didn't want to leave and actually have to start my holiday at work. Josh reassured me one more time that it would all be ok, and I basically had to force myself out the front door. Once I got to work I realized it wasn't so bad. The patient's were all in relatively good spirits, we were trying to get as many of them out of the hospital as possible that day, and everyone's moods were pretty high. I finally listened to Christmas carols all day long to try to help brighten things up. That night I went home and baked goodies for our Christmas dinner at work, wrapped a couple of last minute presents for my Josh, and laid in bed and watched my favorite Christmas movie of all time...The Grinch. I was able to talk to Josh on the phone as many times as I wanted, and everything seemed to be a little better.
Christmas morning came, and it was a strange feeling to wake up and be getting ready for work. Josh called me before I had time to worry about not being able to tell him Merry Christmas before work, so that set the day off on the right foot. I adorned myself with a light up Christmas light necklace and hat with reindeer antlers that lit up, and hit the door headed to the hospital. I was in the best mood once I got there, and all of the sudden I couldn't remember why I had made such a big deal out of having to work on this day. All through out the day I kept getting more and more joyful. Our census at the hospital wasn't nearly as low as we thought it would be, but I did my best to make sure all of my patient's had the best Christmas they could considering their circumstances. I was almost sad to leave work that night.
ALMOST sad. As soon as I remembered that Josh was home and I would get to have the night with him I almost ran for the door. When I got home that night Josh had two plates of Christmas dinner sitting out on the stove with a special surprise card. We ate and exchanged gifts, but the best present I could have ever gotten was when I walked in the front door and saw his smiling face. It was as if my world were right again...everything was in it's place.
I looked back on that Christmas a day or two later, and I shocked myself. Thinking about Christmas lead me straight into prayer. I was driving down the road all alone and I was thanking God for making me work Christmas. I look back now and think about how hard I fought the situation. I did everything I possibly could to get out of working Christmas. Then when I couldn't get out of working it, I made everyone around me miserable on the days leading up to Christmas. It wasn't until a couple of days later that I was able to fully appreciate the effect that working on Christmas day had on me. It was probably one of my best Christmases ever. It was a Christmas that left me fulfilled, a Christmas in which I felt like I truly not only grasped the meaning of Christmas but acted on the meaning and allowed God to use me to help others. It was a Christmas in which I was able to give back, and it was maybe one of the greatest lessons I have ever learned. Trust God. Trust Him with all of your heart because He will never lead you down the wrong path.
I needed to be at work that Christmas day. I needed to see what it was like to do something completely selfless on a day that can get sometimes so wrapped up in gift exchanging and "getting" that we all forget the true meaning. Working on Christmas day is not something I always want to do. I want to start traditions with my little family of two. I want to wake up with my husband and spend the day making memories. But this year, I am not sad that I had to work Christmas any more. I am grateful and happy to have had the experience to see Christmas from a different perspective. It was definitely a Christmas that I will never forget!
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