Dear Tyson,
I've begun to realize that life will always be crazy and hectic. I will say these things to you a thousand times over a million different ways I am sure. I don't really expect you to hear me the first few times I say them. I don't expect these words to carry big meaning early on. It will only be after you have gained true life experience that you will listen to what I have to say...listen to the very things that would have made those experiences easier for you in the first place. Life isn't always about easy though, and I know you have to learn and explore and figure things out for yourself. Then, once you think you have figured it all out, you will hear what I have been saying all along and hopefully combine a little bit of my words with what you have already learned. That's how life goes. It's my job and your daddy's job to say these things to you over and over so that one day, when you really need them, they will be there with you. These are not all the life lessons I need to teach you, but as you are my little two pound, wiggle worm, womb occupier these are what come to mind. I do reserve the right to add to them at any day or time...even when you are grown, married, and have babies of your own. Because even then, I'll still be your mama.
I'm going to go ahead and tell you right now that your daddy and I have discussed this and discussed this, and I know this will be the hardest thing for me to accept. You daddy and I agreed that we can't keep you in a bubble. We have to let you out, let you experience things. When you are just a baby it will be so hard for me not to worry about every little hiccup that you may have. You are my first baby. I don't know what to expect, and I want to do my best to keep you safe. As you get older I know I will have to let you be a boy. I'll have to let you go out on the four-wheeler by yourself or go play football with your friends if that's what you want to do. I will worry every time you leave my sight. This will be where my faith in God will play a huge part. I will have to trust solely in Him to guide and protect you during the times that I can't...and even during the times that I think I can. I have to trust that your daddy and I will have taught you everything you need to know to keep you as safe and protected as possible. But I want you to know now that every time I let you go somewhere, whether you are still an infant going to the sitter, my four year old big boy riding the four-wheeler, my middle schooler playing football, my high schooler going out with his friends, or my thirty year old making decisions with your wife for your own kids, every time you aren't with me I'll worry. But I'll think about that bubble and know that I can't keep you right next to me at all times just to make sure your bubble stays intact. Just know that I want to though.
Always put God first. Your daddy and I hope to raise you in an environment where it is evident to you that we serve an amazing God. We want you to understand and believe in everything that sometimes is hard to define. We want to make you see how lucky we are and how lucky you are to be saved by such an amazing Father. There are so many things in life that I can't explain. All of those things point back to God. Everyone of us has to develop our own personal relationship with God through the years. It is my hope to you that you are able to cement yourself in your beliefs so that whenever you have troubles you always know you can turn to Him. I hope to one day be able to explain this to you better; it truly is a hard concept. Just know that God has a plan for all of us. As long as you believe in Him and believe in His word then you will be ok...even if some days it doesn't feel like you will be.
Be nice to everybody, no matter what. You never know what battle people are going through. In life you will encounter people who will be ugly to you for no apparent reason. Just know that the reason for their ugliness probably has nothing to do with you. The problem is within themselves; they will sort it out eventually. We by no means want you to be a doormat who lets everyone walk over them. We want you to stand up for yourself and for your beliefs. Just keep in mind that some people have been dealt a rough hand in life, and they may have trouble dealing with it. Just remember what your daddy always says, "God don't like ugly".
Whatever you decide to do, do it well. I mean this at every stage in your life. If you decide you want to play T-ball then get out there and put your little heart into the game and have fun with your friends. In middle school, if you decide to join an organized sports team through your school, then practice hard and leave it all out on the field. Apply yourself to your schoolwork and do everything you can to succeed there. When it comes time to pick a career, pick what you love. Find something that really speaks to you...something that you can excel in. If you love what you do then you will never have to "work" a day in your life. No matter what you decide to be or what you decide to do at any point in your life, your daddy and I will always support you. We will always be proud of you. All we want from you is to be the best Tyson Dugas that you can be.
If you have to question whether or not something is right, then it probably isn't. We want you to always do the right thing, but we always know that sometimes that can be extremely hard and sometimes there may be gray areas as to what is right and what is wrong. You can always come to us. We will always guide you without judgement. But if you have to question a decision or an action then there is a great probability that it isn't the right thing to do. Everything in life has consequences. Think about that long and hard before you make your choice.
Technology may be the greatest invention in this time. It has allowed us to increase our knowledge base exponentially and at a very rapid rate. I hope for you that technology continues to improve and evolve as you grow older. Don't invest in it all the way though. Don't forget to get outside and let the sunshine hit your face. Don't forget what an amazing blessing an old country road can be. Who knows what type of social media will be in place by the time you are old enough to really get involved, but don't let Facebook (the day you have to Google what that means I will really know that I am old) rule your life. For the most part, people only broadcast the good parts of their life...and a lot of that even is fabricated. Social media gives you constant access to what other people want you to see as "their life". Don't buy into that. Don't get down on yourself by comparing yourself to what others seem to have. Embrace you, celebrate you, and know that God has a plan for you. Count your blessings in being fortunate enough to grow up in an age of advanced technology. Respect what is out there and take advantage of all of it's benefits. Just don't let technology end up defining you.
I'm not going to tell you not to get a tattoo...even though I want to tell you not to get a tattoo. I will tell you this: think ahead IF you ever do decide to do something like that. I'm sure that tribal symbol looks really cool right now, but will it always? Ask your daddy how he feels about his. I will be perfectly honest with you and tell you that I see tattoos as a very acceptable form of self-expression. I have seen some truly beautiful tattoos with amazing meanings. Those tattoos are really works of art because the message behind them are seated so deeply with the person on which it is tattooed. One day you may feel extremely passionate about something and want to make it a permanent part of your body...we won't fault you for that. Your daddy and I will probably respect your decision. I will say though to be mindful where you place even the most tasteful of tattoos. You may come to a time in your life where you wished you could hide that tattoo just for a little while by your shirt or some other piece of clothing. Even a tattoo that means the world to you may not have a place in the work place, out on a job interview, or even hanging out with new people. It's ok to have some things that only a few people know about. Sometimes a tattoo is one of those things. Just keep it tasteful (and off your body all together if I have any say in the matter).
When the time comes, your daddy and I won't force you to go to college. I want you to know that it is very important to us though. We want to see you go beyond high school to achieve all of your dreams. That being said, dreams can be made and achieved and people can be well established outside of the establishments of higher education. Your daddy has always been one of the smartest men I have known well before he went to college. Going to college just proves that he is determined and dedicated to better his family. He is going back to school now for me and for you. I can promise you that going back to college at this stage in his life after he has been working for years is one of the hardest things he has ever done. Make it easier on yourself. Enjoy your time away from the real world. Have a college experience. Grow there, learn there. We will be proud of you no matter what, but always know that we know you have college in you.
You don't ever have to look far to find your role model. You are a very lucky little boy who has been blessed with an amazing daddy. You have been made by God and given to us. By that same token, God gave us to you. Your daddy is one of the most special men I know. He is the most loving, hard-working, God-fearing, determined, strongest man. You are lucky to grow up with him teaching you how to get through life. He still has to teach me things on a daily basis. You should have seen his face the night I told him about you. I think he knew by the undertone of fear that was in my voice as I called his name from the bathroom. He couldn't believe the first test; he had to go out and buy five more. Every day he wants to touch, wants to talk to you, wants to feel you move under his hand. He has big dreams for you and him throughout the years. We got to see you on the 4D ultrasound the other day; you look just like him. He is so proud of you already. He is just so happy to be your daddy. And I am so happy that we can call him ours. I can't wait to see all the things he teaches you. I know you will be a great man one day because you have the greatest man leading the way for you.
Your daddy and I feel lucky to be your parents. The same week I found out I was pregnant with you, I also found out I was accepted into graduate school. I wasn't sure what God's plan was for the three of us. I wasn't sure that we would be able to make it with your daddy and me both in school and you on the way. We are still a few weeks away from you being here, but we feel like God has shown us that we will be able to make it just fine. In fact, once you get here our lives are going to be better than we can even imagine. Some days may get tough. I am sure there will be a night or two where you feel like staying up all night crying. I will stay up all night with you those nights too...probably crying with you. Then, once you finally go to sleep, I'll go back to studying or writing papers or getting ready for work. Your daddy and I are ready for that challenge though. There are a lot of unknowns for us...just like there are for every new Mommy and Daddy. We know that together the three of us will get through it though with help and guidance from God. We can't wait to see what all life has in store for us all. For right now we just feel blessed to have each other and to have you on the way to join our little family. Always know that you are living proof that dreams do come true. We can't wait to meet you, Baby Tyson. We both love you with all of our hearts. Keep growing strong, and we will see you in a few short weeks.
Love,
Mommy
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